I always have a band-aid wrapped around my right index finger.
Every morning, after taking a bath, reupholster it.
The callus that I had when I was a child can’t be cured.
I went to a dermatologist and it might go away if I burn it, but for some reason I didn’t do that.
Even now, I still have the habit of rubbing it with my thumb.
If I don’t put a band-aid on it, I may bleed and stain the documents, so I still put a band-aid on it every day.
A routine before going to work in the morning.
It’s like a memory of a high school girl’s heartbreak.
Also, as I got older, writing letters became a chore, and I developed writer’s cramp.
Contracts, Board Meeting Minutes, Loan Deeds.
Everyone is stressed. I get nervous when I write.
I get even more nervous when people around me stare at my hand as I sign.
In fact, I might be a a weak-willed person with social phobia.
I am covering it up with hard work, jokes and smiles.
Myself.
Maybe it’s an extension of that, but I no longer write New Year’s cards in my own handwriting.
I printed them and was replying to those I recieved.
However, this year I stopped doing that too.
Please excuse my rudeness.
I received a polite greeting card from the staff, but please refrain expecting a replying.
Instead, I reads it over and over again to soothe my mind.
The greeting card from the nursery school is also heartwarming.
Does hearing from grandchildren make you feel like this?
The postcards that were jointly addressed to my deceased father from our business partners have also completely disappeared.
No more letters from his father’s associates.
Everyone is dead.
I want you to take this opportunity to be lazy.
New Year’s greetings were posted on the homepage.
There is also the influence of corona, but since I no longer socialize outside at night, I spend more and more time confining myself.
It’s not a bad thing.
When I was young, I loved going to temples and churches, but now I’m crouching in bed.
It’s not mediation, it’s closer to sleeping.
Still, during the daytime, I always have visitors or talk at meetings, so the lonely and quiet time is also time for within.
This diary is both a conversation with Koyama’s companion and a question to myself from the bottom of my heart.
A long time ago, I once consulted a psychiatrist over dinner, wondering if I was suffering from manic depression.
The answer was straight forward.
I was told that there was no manic-depressive patient who ate as much as me.
It was a definitive diagnosis.
So that’s it.
If you lose weight, let’s talk again.
Pulse oximeter 98/97/97
Body temperature 36.5 Blood sugar 186
Former chairman of the high school penmanship group
CEO, Yasunari Koyama